Epiphany

A few years ago, when I discovered Ho’oponopono, I put my life under a magnifying glass… During my workdays, as I was sweeping, cleaning, and washing on the outside, I was doing the exact same thing within myself… By accepting one's past, one breaks free from it, and remains far more grounded in the present. Later on, I did the same with my fears, to free myself from the future, but that is another story… This work did me a world of good, which showed as a permanent smile on my face. Since I thought I was done with myself, I practiced this technique on everyone close to me from my past: parents, grandparents, friends, acquaintances… Knowing a few major events in their lives, I gained insights into their wounds and the reasons behind their personalities.

From that point on, many things changed, and my evolution was quite positive. I then felt an immense peace and a constant joy that I never would have thought possible.

Awakening is not a one-time event; it is a process that, once set in motion, never stops. We continuously dig deeper, seeking to bring into awareness what is still hidden; the more we reduce the shadow, the more the intensity of the light increases, and the more it reveals the spots… It is a virtuous circle.

Lately, I have been thinking about you a lot; I feel a strong intuition, see so many signs and synchronicities, and yet nothing materializes in physical reality… Recently, while re-reading texts about our story, I had several realizations regarding both you and me… On my end, I realized that at the very beginning, I had fled from you on numerous occasions; this is something my ego had always minimized, or even masked, in order to protect me (which is its mission). Right from our first meeting, I was surprised by the intensity of what I felt for you, even though I had never seen you before… These flights were a way to protect myself (ineffectively, given the nature of this relationship) from a danger I sensed (your rejection?) mistakenly… I had never reflected on what you might have felt; you never let anything show… Now, I realize that I gave you the image of an emotionally unstable person, and despite all your love, this explains why, when we crossed paths again, and after asking how I was doing, you took refuge in silence… In turn, you protected yourself emotionally, for fear that I would abandon you…

As I type these final words, I am smiling. It all seems so obvious to me today, even though it took me so many years before I could finally cross out, in my heart, the word: "why."