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At The Train Station

It’s been three years since I last set foot in a train station. I, the nomad, have taken root. Naturally curious, I enjoy studying the characters that inhabit certain public places. Y et here, nothing has really changed: though the faces are different, I recognize them all. . * * * Sitting on a large duffel bag, leaning against a wall—there’s the student. He mutters to himself, eyes fixed on a thick blue binder, and despite all the noise filling the station, nothing could tear him away at this hour from his studies. A little further off, I spot a family waiting to greet one of their relatives. The father and mother chat together, glancing every five minutes at the clock. The children play, dart between their legs, circle around them, tap each other shouting, “Tag!” then burst into laughter; they bring into this hall the fresh, colorful breeze of youth. The father looks impatient, but on his face I can read a certain joy; he seems to be holding back a smile. As for the mother, however...
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I appreciate my friends and the time I often spend with them, but lately I’ve been feeling that same sense of disconnection I experienced in my youth, which made me feel like a creature from a galaxy far, far away… The only difference is that back then, I believed I was an abnormal being, unfit for life in society; my values and interests were already quite different—sometimes even the polar opposite of theirs… Today, having fully accepted myself, I no longer feel the need to change myself, to conform to the norm, or to squeeze into some kind of imprisoning exoskeleton… Quite the opposite: I let them speak, not seeking conflict, yet defending—when necessary—my point of view and way of life… That said, despite all good intentions, I still feel a certain boredom…

Spiritual awakening isn’t entirely positive; through the irreversible changes and detachments it brings—as the heart takes the reins from the ego—it isolates us and complicates our relationships. Sometimes, if we revert to old patterns, it leads us to self-sacrifice instead of prioritizing ourselves…

I believe that’s why it’s now time for me to find a new place, one that is more fulfilling and nourishing for my soul…

It’s not a desire to be alone, but a true necessity… I smile when I think that those who embark on an inner journey often find themselves walking down a road, backpack in hand, in search of a new home…

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