I Remember - 10

 

I remember that, unlike all those I had previously loved, I had never spoken to anyone about my feelings for you... You were my most precious, intimate friend...

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I remember realizing how much of a failure my move to Brittany had been. Of course, I was happy to discover a region that, for me, was legendary for its history, folklore, and the painters who had lived there. Of course, I was glad to have joined a new company and to be working on projects different from those of the past. But I had to admit that I hadn’t freed myself from you. Believing I was leaving you behind, I had, in truth, taken you with me in my luggage. I hadn’t yet realized that you were part of me and within me...

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I remember the joy I felt when a friend from my old company gave me news of you, telling me that you had written to management... You had started working...

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I remember not liking the town of Lorient, which hadn’t been rebuilt to its original state after the war. I felt a lack of harmony, a dissonance in the architectural styles...

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I remember the battle between my heart and my ego: the former telling me not to waste any time contacting you, while the latter insisted it was up to you to take the first step. Desire and pride kept clashing...

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I remember telling myself that one day I would like to visit the island of Groix, whose coast I could see from just across the street from my house...

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I remember that, after several days of hesitation, I finally bought a very pretty card with an Impressionist painting. And although it was February, I sent you my best wishes, hoping the new year that had just begun would bring you happiness. I retrieved your company address from the Minitel terminal. Inwardly, I laughed, imagining the look on your face when my letter was delivered to you at work—your surprise when you discovered my words and the Brittany postmark on the envelope. Knowing your spirit, I was already laughing. I wished I were a fly on the wall to witness your reaction…

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I remember the dog that kept chasing my moped, barking as I passed by its house...

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I remember those days after I sent my letter. I felt like I was on cloud nine—my mouth a smile that never faded, my eyes shining like rays of sunshine...